The Evolution of Tamil Dowries: From Financial Security to Social Exploitation

What is a dowry, and what are Tamil dowry traditions? 

Weddings mark a transitional phase in one's life. A new chapter when one leaves their parent's home to begin their own family. 

Across cultures, during times of transition, parents used dowries as a way to transfer wealth to their daughters. This was typically a voluntary gift of furniture, gold, land, or jewelry, often serving as an early form of inheritance given to the daughter when she left to start her own family.

Interestingly, in ancient Tamil society along with the dowry provided by parents, we also see evidence of bridewealth. This was a gift from the groom to the bride (and sometimes her family) of land, jewels, gold, and other valuables. It was said to serve as compensation for her labor lost to the family, but mainly as a form of security for the bride.

The concept of dowry and bridewealth existed across the world in various cultures. In ancient civilizations like Tamil society, Sumeria, and Babylonia, both the dowry and the bridewealth were kept by the wife should the husband die or divorce her, meaning the purpose of these gifts was to provide financial security for the bride.

Sounds wholesome, right?

Well, the practice of dowry has turned into a highly toxic tradition in South Asia today.

The Shift to Groom-Oriented Dowries

In the 19th century, a shift occurred in society where dowries were paid by the bride's family to the groom or his family. This groom-oriented dowry system is said to originate in North India. Even then it was not universal, but it soon reached almost all castes, religions, and classes of people.

Economists have proposed models to explain marriage/dowries systems. One exploring supply and demand of sex ratios. Meaning dowries are expected by the groom's family because grooms are in high demand based on the sex ratio of men to women. The sex ratio could be affected by factors such as times of war (Becker 1974). We can see how war and genocide play a role in sex ratios, marriage, and dowries in Eelam.

However, the modern practice of dowry remains strong in regions of South Asia where sex ratios are not extreme.

Srinivas (1964) writes that the harsh economic reality created a goal for the groom's family to become wealthy at the expense of the bride's family. (This was in a time of great poverty during the last few centuries of colonization and a great shift to our society and economic structure)

Changes in property laws, societal and economic shifts gave rise to a new kind of dowry. One where the groom's family used marriage as an opportunity to acquire wealth and status for themselves, often leaving out the bride entirely.

This meant brides gained no control or access to what was gifted, meaning dowry became a tool for social status rather than security. In some cases, brides hold property rights over their inheritance, whereas in other cases, this has been merged with or completely lost to the groom's family.

Through folk songs explored by Dr. Ramasamy, we can see that during this time, even if a bridewealth was given, it did not guarantee respect or protection. One folk song shared the story of a father-in-law who was upset because he had given the bridewealth for the hand in marriage, hoping to gain control of the wife's inherited property, only to find the wife's father was too poor to leave her anything.

Women who once were protected financially through marriage gifts were left with nothing. Dowries and land were seized by in-laws when husbands died, including the loss of inherited property. It’s important to note, during this time, the practice of gifting land from parents declined, again perhaps a reflection of economic and societal shift in society (Ramasamy 1992).

Modern Implications

Despite laws in countries like India such as the Dowry Prohibition Act in 1961  in India, dowries are still being demanded today. 

Even in the 21st century, societal pressure has formed such that even if the groom's family states they do not want a dowry, the bride's family feels obligated to send their daughter with one,oftentimes beyond their means, as this practice has become an indicator of social status (Srinivasan 2005).

Many women have left marriages and even ended their lives because of the pressure and torture linked to dowries, which often continue post-marriage (Srinivas 1964). Young women have been burnt, murdered, and experienced domestic violence across South Asia by their husbands and their families for their family's refusal to pay additional dowry. Kaur and Byard (2020) report that approximately 21 women die daily in India due to dowry harassment.

Reclaiming True Tradition

I often hear things carried out in the Tamil community in the name of tradition, but what constitutes tradition? The practice emerged in the 19th century, or what happened before that? 

Dr. Ramasamy suggests that the practice of bridewealth, where the groom gifts the bride for financial security, is an indigenous Tamil tradition. There are abundant references in both folk songs and Sangam literature speaking to the bridewealth, but none to the modern practice of dowry where the bride's family gifts the groom and his family.

Perhaps instead of hiding behind the “tradition” as a shield for our inhumane behaviour and exploration, we owe it to ourselves to reflect on our history in depth before holding on to or dismissing traditions.

Sources

Becker, Gary S. "A Theory of Marriage." Economics of the Family: Marriage, Children, and Human Capital, edited by Theodore W. Schultz, University of Chicago Press, 1974, pp. 299-351. National Bureau of Economic Research

Botticini, Maristella, and Aloysius Siow. "Why Dowries?" American Economic Review, vol. 93, 2003, pp. 1385-1398

Kaur, Navpreet, and Roger W. Byard. "Bride Burning: A Unique and Ongoing Form of Gender-Based Violence." Journal of Forensic and Legal Medicine, vol. 75, 2020, 102035

Ramaswamy, Vijaya. "Women and Farm Work in Tamil Folk Songs." Social Scientist, vol. 21, no. 9/11, Sep.-Oct. 1993, pp. 113-129. JSTOR

Ramaswamy, Vijaya. "Women, Dowry and Property in Tamil Folk Songs." Proceedings of the Indian History Congress, vol. 53, 1992, pp. 181-186. Indian History Congress. JSTOR

Soni, Suparna. "Institution of Dowry in India: A Theoretical Inquiry." Societies Without Borders, vol. 14, no. 1, 2020

Srinivas, Mysore Narasimhachar. Social Change in Modern India. University of California Press, 1964.

Srinivasan, Sharada. "Daughters or Dowries? The Changing Nature of Dowry Practice in South India." World Development, vol. 33, 2005, pp. 593-615